JUNE 18, 2007
Skip work Friday. You deserve it. Really. And besides, what if a giant asteroid slams into the Earth during rush hour on Friday and obliterates everything? On the plus side, the war on terror would effectively be won, but on the minus side you just pissed away the last few hours of your existence in a soul-sucking “team strategy” meeting fantasizing about calling 911 and telling the operator you think you may be dead because time is moving really, really, really slowly. Here’s a tip: Next time you’re in an office meeting suggest to everyone that they should tape it and put it up on YouTube. Follow that statement up by holding your hand in the air like you’re about to get a round of high fives. Don’t worry; recognition of true genius is often preceded by long periods of awkward silence. Don’t think it through too much. The inevitable outcome of too much thought is inaction – usually well-justified inaction. For instance, if you put the team strategy meeting up on YouTube you’ll be Karmically fucking yourself because you will inadvertently be putting undue stress on the suicide-hotline people. Their jobs are tough enough as it is, right? Similarly, you don’t want to overthink ditching work. Sure, there is probably some byzantine logarithmic formula by which the wheels of commerce will grind to a halt because of your absence, but the law of averages dictates that the real consequence of your ditch will be that someone gets an extra stale doughnut – and you will have made their day. Now there’s an inspirational poster to hang in the conference room: “Capricious Irresponsibility: Pass it on.” Own that shit. You only have what? 40? 60? 80 good years left? Maybe a buck fifty if scientists get off their asses and figure out how to rig you up a new chassis out of stem cells. Point is, carpe the friggin’ diem. See what it’s like to be one of the nonworking stiffs they’re building all those Downtown high-rise condos for. Roll out of bed late, put on some crocs, jammies, and a wife beater; and head on over to Threadgill’s for KGSR’s FanFare Friday. Starting at the uncharitably early hour of 8am, KGSR will be hosting a full day of high caliber musical entertainment that will benefit Family Eldercare’s annual Summer Fan Drive. The talent train is long and goes something like this: Bobby Whitlock & CoCo Carmel, Seth Walker, Billy Harvey, Guy Forsyth, Ruthie Foster, South Austin Jug Band, Dale Watson, Ray Wylie Hubbard, a special surprise guest, Charlie Sexton, and Elana James & Hot Club of Cowtown. Plus, each $12 donation buys a new fan for a low-income elderly or disabled person and (as if doing good isn’t good enough) enters you in a drawing for a $6,000 high efficiency air and heat system. Seeing that you’ve skipped work, if you win you may want to throw that into the Eldercare kitty too, just to yin your yang.