NOV. 13, 2007
Sometimes it’s so hard not to sweat the little stuff. No matter how many times your grizzled old geezer relatives try to tell you the only important things in life are your friends, your family, and a rigorous regime of dental hygiene, you never seem to get the message. What do they know anyway? They’re already ravaged by senility, hair loss, osteoporosis, cataracts, tooth decay, and wicked halitosis, which makes it all the more uncomfortable when they ask you to lean in closer so you can hear what they have to say. Besides, it’s difficult to take advice from someone who shares more in common with the Crypt Keeper than say, George Clooney or Julia Roberts, especially when you’re transfixed by a huge, hairy mole, turkey jowls, or a spectacular dowager’s hump. Focus, damn it. They’re trying to tell you something, even if it’s a seemingly trite cliché like “don’t sweat the details.” People standing on death’s doormat don’t have a lot of time to fumble around for clever turns of phrase. They do however, have a certain amount of wisdom and a sincere wish to share it before it’s snuffed out entirely. They know that bad haircut will grow back, that asshole will quit tailgating you, your evil boss will retire, and that soft-porn amateur video you made with your last boyfriend probably won’t be getting as many hits on YouTube as you think it will – and even if it does, the important thing is that you had fun. So just chillax, yo. Pull back the handle on your zen recliner and look at the big picture. Maybe that fresh cat turd on your lawn isn’t really a cat turd at all but rather a pungent reminder to appreciate the fact that, for the most part, your life doesn’t stink. What a relief that your lawn isn’t entirely filled with cat turds. Of course, if it is, maybe that turd is a reminder that your cat has nearly used up its nine lives. Unlike cats, humans only get one life, and any old toothless coot will tell you to enjoy it while you can, though probably through some hackneyed phrase like “gather ye rosebuds while ye may.” This Sunday you can do just that at the Wash Hamilton Tribute and Benefit Concert, an eight hour extravaganza of music, memories, and merriment honoring one of Austin’s favorite bass players, who is currently dealing with end stage prostate cancer. Acts scheduled to perform include Ponty Bone & the Squeezetones, Shelley King, Zeke Jarmon & Friends, Jane Bond, Mandy Mercier, Boomer Norman, Los Jazz Vatos & the Sunset Valley Boys, plus surprise guests. There will also be a silent auction featuring donations from Wash’s friends. A $10 donation gets you in the door and scores you a mess of good karma.