Master Pancake Christmas Show

The Luv Doc Recommends

December 16, 2009

At some point this weekend you are going to be stuck on the highway behind some hayseed from that region of Egypt that doesn’t even appear on the map. He will be driving 20 miles per hour below the speed limit and hitting his brakes at random intervals trying to decide if he missed the exit for Sheplers. At this point, your misanthropy might crush your red giant heart into a tiny white dwarf, perhaps even a black hole. You might begin pounding on your horn and screaming expletives with such force and conviction that the inside of your windshield is covered with droplets of spittle. All of this will happen while “‘Tis the season to be jolly” chirps out of your radio. The only thing keeping you from going completely postal is that he doesn’t have a bumper sticker that says: “What’s the hurry? You’re already in Austin.” Here’s a little mantra to get you through the Jesus season: Zen. Yes, you do live in a city full of infuriating retards, but you’re one of them too. You’ve been the one blocking traffic at a green light because you’re sexting your boyfriend, futzing with the radio, or trying to retrieve the french fry that fell under your seat. You’re the oblivious son of a bitch who leaves your grocery cart at a 45-degree angle in the aisle at H-E-B while you painstakingly compare the fiber content of Cap’n Crunch vs. Golden Grahams. You also take 37 items to the 20-item express checkout and then ask the clerk to fetch you a case of Newport 100’s and a lighter from the locked display case across the store. Just remember that shit when you’re screaming, “Die! Die! Die!” at the line of preschoolers clutching one another’s shirts as they slowly shuffle through the crosswalk in front of you. That may be the Easter spirit, but it’s definitely not the Christmas spirit. Those little numskulls are just trying to get through their days same as you, only with a few more wet Pull-Ups and a few less temper tantrums. They aren’t personally trying to fuck over your mad dash to Starbucks. Remember: It’s the season of giving. Instead of giving yourself an aneurysm, give yourself the gift of inner peace. Unstress. Let it slide. The holidays are always fraught with unrealistic expectations: Your daughter wants a Twilight Bella Swan Barbie. Mom wants everyone to go to midnight mass. Dad wants to cut down the Christmas tree himself with a chain saw. It’s been the same for centuries. Mary expected little baby Josh to be the messiah. No pressure there. Somehow, without the benefit of medicinal marijuana, Josh managed to find inner peace (well, except for that one time with the moneychangers). His secret? Forgiveness. So, if you want to really get in the spirit of giving for the holidays, start by giving people the benefit of the doubt – even the assholes. Sometimes what seems to be most evil is really just comical … sort of like Rob Zombie … and laughter is pretty good stress relief. If you want to uncork this holiday season, you couldn’t ask for a better way to do it than Master Pancake’s Christmas Show, a Christmas-clip extravaganza featuring commentary and improv caroling by Pancake regulars John Erler and Joe Parsons, with Santa-holic Owen Egerton joining the cast for this special holiday show. You might want to wear some Huggies. This show is so funny you might actually crap trow. How Zen is that?

Mr. Sinus Theater Presents: The Lost Boys

Luv Doc Writings, The Luv Doc Recommends

FRI., OCT. 3, 2003

If you have never seen Mr. Sinus Theater 3000, you might have some sort of vague notion that it’s even dorkier and less funny than its televised pseudo-namesake, Mystery Science Theater 3000, a show that deservedly holds down a shaky spot in the cable purgatory of the Sci Fi Channel. Admitting familiarity with any programming on the Sci Fi Channel is pretty much date repellent in most circles, so it’s no surprise that the uninitiated remain skeptical. How could a live, local, untelevised knockoff of a mind numbingly bad cable TV show be even remotely entertaining? Start with the cast. Owen Egerton, John Erler, and Jerm Pollet are truly funny guys. Seriously. Pollet and Egerton have spent years honing their chops in local comedy clubs and improv troupes while Erler is a classic cut-up who, in between working on a Ph.D. in classics is also host of KVRX’s wildly popular Elk Mating Ritual Hour, an eclectic amalgam of call-ins, philosophizing, and obscure music billed as, “None of the Hits, All of the Time.” All three are musicians as well – how Austin is that? Pollet fronted the popular punk-pop band Gals Panic back in the early Nineties and still holds down a gig as “Tall, Dark and Lonesone,” a solo show in which he alternately sings and soliloquies on topics both personal and public; Egerton has released a CD of comedy tunes entitled Big Thick Wooden Board, and is a Casio keyboard virtuoso; and Erler shows up occasionally at local karaoke bars to sing Jimmy Buffet tunes in the voice of Skeletor, He-Man’s arch nemesis. Occasionally, Erler also fronts a band called Big in Italy. Under the guise of Mr. Sinus, the three achieve a true comedic synergy that far transcends the Sci Fi Channel counterpart. This may have something to do with the material. Mr. Sinus doesn’t confine itself to the same B-movie fare as Mystery Science 3000. Recently, the movies mocked by Mr. Sinus are high profile studio schlock like Top Gun, Footloose, Speed, and presciently enough, The Terminator. They also manage to work in an actual comedy sketch in the middle of the films that very often involves nudity and cross-dressing, the two unshakeable pillars of live comedy. Lastly, Mr. Sinus allows – even encourages – its audience to drink (responsibly), making Mr. Sinus a happy, interactive, social experience rather than a shameful, solitary, onanistic endeavor. This weekend, the trio takes on the mother of all teen vampire flicks, The Lost Boys, an eye-candied Eighties classic starring huge names like Jason Patric, Kiefer Sutherland, the Corey twins (Feldman and Haim), Jami Gertz, and Alex Winter (the Bill of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, whose sunken eye sockets make him a lock for any role concerning the undead). Rest assured, The Lost Boys is comedic fodder for even the dullest of wits, so Mr. Sinus should cut it and the audience to pieces.