Month: January 2019

Austin Cat Fanciers Spring Carnival Cat Show

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APR 19. 2002

Back when people weren’t as smart as they are today, certain among us used to drive through Hyde Park with a 12-pack of Black Label playing a drinking game that involved taking a swig of beer every time a cat came into the field of vision. Although only a complete imbecile would recommend such a lethal combination, it should be pointed out that the twelve pack rarely lasted more than a few blocks and the car never exceeded 5mph. Why?

So many freaking cats. This town is crazy with cats. You figuratively can’t swing a cat without hitting a cat – and not a metaphorical cat, a real one. That’s why it’s a safe bet that this weekend at the Austin Cat Fanciers Spring Carnival Cat Show at the Travis County Heritage Center you’re going to see a lot of cats. Not the scruffy, semi-feral midnight howlers that seem to lurk just beneath your open window but rather cats that are brushed, combed, coiffed, clipped and on their best behavior. You got your long hair, your shorthair, curly hair and no hair (no messy furballs!) all meticulously judged by officials from TICA (The International Cat Association). Can a cat lover be a cat lover lover? Only one way to find out…

Lone Star Hot Rod and Kustom Roundup

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SAT. APR. 15, 2002

You should feel comfortable with your inclination to run screaming from anything whose name involves replacing a perfectly serviceable C with the purposefully illiterate K. It’s a natural reaction for most folcs who have been burned on previous encounters with names like Kountry Kitchen, Korn, Krab, and Kosher Deli. OK, skratch that last one, but you get the pikture. While the kasual kountry K is certainly an ace in the hole for those not wanting to sound too intellektual, let us not assume that there’s no mental meat on this chikken leg. On the kontrary, its very insidiousness implies a certain amount of intellekt. For instance, this weekend’s Lone Star Rod and Kustom Roundup is a smart bet. Saturday at House Park Stadium from 11am-6pm, you can check out a bunch of very kool, pre-1963 Hot Rod and Kustom Kars as well as a Klutch of kool rockin’ “The” bands: The Sir Finks, The Hollisters, The Leroi Brothers, The Derailers, The Blazers and The Paladins. There will also be artists, vintage dealers and hairkutz by Rob’s Chop Shop, and a multitude of krome and metallik flake paint. Wear some sunglasses – for the glare and just because…well…they’re kool.

The Flaming Idiots

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APR. 5, 2002

Long before Wiley Wiggins, Matthew McConaughey and Sandra Bullock (no kin to Bob) lit up the screen with their sparkling incandescence, Austin’s Hollywood hometown hero was Zachary Scott. If you don’t sleep with your teeth in a glass on your nightstand, it’s unlikely that you’ve seen much, if any of Scott’s work, but for those whippersnappers whose cinematic knowledge borders on the psychotic, films like “Mildred Pierce” and “The Southerner” are well traveled territory. Zachary Scott died young in 1965, and in 1972 his sister Mary Lewis Kleberg made a donation to the Austin Civic Theatre with the stipulation that it be renamed in honor of Scott. Fortunately, Zach Scott has been an active and vital participant in Austin’s theatre community and continues to be so under the capable leadership of Dave Steakly, the theatre’s Zachary Scott expert and Artistic Director. This week you can celebrate a belated April Fool’s at Zach Scott with the Flaming Idiots, a trio of juggling, flame-throwing, audience climbing slapstickers who recently spent two months on Broadway and have appeared on The Late Show with Jay Leno as well the Rosie O’Donnell Show. Word has it that their leaf blower routine is to die for, so treat yourself or maybe that co-worker you’ve had a crush on.

Strings Attached with Slaid Cleaves and Eliza Gilkyson

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SAT. MAR. 30, 2002

I know you’ve been asking yourself the same question: Who put Easter in March? How did this happen? It seems a little early to be dusting off the pastels, boiling up eggs, and digging through your closet in search of that polyethylene bag full of green tinsel Easter grass. I suspect it has something to with April Fool’s Day. Maybe Easter really is in April but the man wants you to believe it’s in March. Maybe God is punishing the Canadians for beating us in hockey and whining about only getting the silver. Imagine all the little Canadian kids tunneling through the snow looking for frozen eggs… Down here in Austin, the grass is as green and the weather is as pretty as it ever gets, so the only down side is the chronological confusion. Might as well jump in with both feet. If you’re itching to go to church, you might want to try the Strings Attached concert this Saturday night at Hyde Park Methodist. The show features two of Austin’s finest songwriters, Slaid Cleaves and Eliza Gilkyson, backed up by a highly skilled ensemble of instrumentalists consisting of Will Taylor, Steve Zirkel, Glen Rexach, Shawn Sanders, and Brad Evilsizer. If you’re not too crazy about going to church, you can think of it as a smoke-free, listening-oriented environment with on-site child care.

Rolling Thunder Down Home Democracy Tour

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SAT. MAR. 23, 2008

Being progressive used to be fun: Taking drugs, wearing strange/no clothes, giving weird names to your pets and kids like Dharma or Echo, stuffing flowers in rifle barrels, voting for Pat Paulsen, generally having a sense of humor. Somewhere, very likely in the overachieving Eighties, progressives became oppressives with a mind-numbing array of politically correct strictures. Now we all feel a little tinge of guilt when we eat grapes, drink hormone heavy milk, gorge ourselves on beefy barbecue, corporate manufactured pork and chickens that never see the light of day. The progressives are right of course – we should feel guilty, but when it comes to throwing a party it’s like…bummer dude. Here’s some good news: Big Jim Hightower and the Rolling Thunder Down Home Democracy Tour are coming to “put the party back into politics.” This Saturday, the Travis County Expo Center will be packed with partying progressives like Molly Ivins, Jesse Jackson Junior, Michael Moore, Granny D getting their brew on, and listening to tunes by a slew of local musicians including but not limited to: Michelle Shocked, David Garza, Marcia Ball, MC Overlord, the Therapy Sisters and Leeann Atherton. Parents will be both delighted and horrified that there are kids’ activities as well as clowns and puppets, but the main thing to remember is that this is about grassroots democracy, so the dating pool should be deep and long.

SXSW Free Concert at Auditorium Shores

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SAT. MAR. 16, 2002

SXSW showcases around 1,000 bands over the course of 5 nights. Recommending any one of them is more of an exercise in subjectivity and taste rather than an assessment of skills and relevance. This is not to say that any given night won’t run the qualitative gamut from marginal to transcendent, but by and large every act has something worth watching. $105 worth watching? Check the schedule and decide for yourself. Even if you decide not to pony up however, you can still catch a really great night of music courtesy SXSW. Saturday night’s free concert at Auditorium Shores features 5 of the best bands you’re likely to see anywhere. First up are Wichita natives Split Lip Rayfield, who play energetic junkabilly on a freakish assortment of instruments, then comes Alejandro Escovedo, one of Austin’s music royalty, followed by Louisiana’s Geno Delfose, who is nearly a native himself. Rounding out the bill are the ever popular Austin folkountry outfit The Gourds followed by the irascible, irrepressible country sensation Charlie Robison. All of that and you’re out by 10:00. You could still catch 3 more bands!

SXSW Film Festival

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MAR. 8, 2002

Believe it or not, there was a time back in the late eighties when the Arboretum was the new kid on the block, a swanker, woodsier, more environmentally sensitive response to the Highland and Barton Creek megamalls. The Arboretum took a while to figure out. Even casual outdoor window shopping in the sweltering Austin heat demands a trip to Amy’s Ice Cream and a duck into the Arbor Cinema for an air-conditioned matinee in the comfy high-backed seats. Who cares if the loo is located up two flights of bladder busting stairs or that the once whimsical fluffy white cotton clouds on the ceiling are now blackened like thunderheads? Come March 17, it won’t matter because the Arbor, which has been holding its own as Austin’s other art cinema, will be closing its doors to make way for a Cheesecake Factory – perhaps in response to Austin’s voracious demand for even more comfortably generic, bland yet fattening food? So, if you have even a wisp of sentimentality for the place, here’s your last chance to say goodbye to the old place: This Friday you can catch a trio of films on the opening night of the SXSW Film Festival. “The Slaughter Rule” is a gritty flick about a barnstorming 6-man football team in Montana written and directed by brothers Alex and Andrew Smith and starring David Morse, a.k.a “Boomer” from “St. Elsewhere. Then you have “The Search for John Grissing” which stars Janeane Garafalo and Alan Rickman as well as writer/director Mike Binder of HBO’s “The Mind of the Married Man.” Finishing out the night is “Me Without You,” the coming of age story of two suburban London women written and directed by Sandra Goldbacher (The Governess) and starring Anna Friel, Michelle Williams, Kyle McLaughlin and Sting’s wife Trudie Styler. You can get in each for $6 or go to Waterloo and pop for the $50 SXSW film pass which will get you into a mess of other fine films but alas, won’t bring the Arbor back.

74th Annual Zilker Kite Festival

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March 1, 2002

Despite the recent cold snap, Spring is dangerously close. The trees are sprouting that first hesitant vernal fringe of light green. Giant, odd weeds are growing rapaciously in unmown lawns and the Grackles are slowly being crowded out by birds of a lighter color and disposition. Soon enough you’ll be going sockless in your Birkenstocks and slathering on coconut scented sunblock like you’re headed for a Roman orgy. So, even if right now the thermometer is hovering just shy of tepid, you might want to wander back outside and get acclimated. Here’s something to do: Tie the bandana on the Labrador and head over to Zilker Park this Sunday for the 74th Annual Zilker Kite Festival. Yes, 74th. Since 1928 Austinites have plying the blustery March ether with all manner of tethered creations. This year’s festival will include over 200 homebuilt kites with prizes awarded for biggest, smallest, highest flying and most creative. There will also be a kite workshop for the kids, stunt kite demonstrations and a “Mass Ascent” in which all kites will be flown at once (If it’s exceptionally windy, you may want to throw on a helmet for this one. That nosedive on the noggin can really smart.) Lastly, chicks dig kites, dudes dig kites and if numbers mean anything, dogs dig kites. You should be able to hook up with at least one of the three, even if it’s only by a leash.

Gynomite-Goes-West-Benefit Eroticathon 2002

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TUES. FEB. 26, 2002

Some things are just too freaky to pass up: Spamarama, Eeyore’s Birthday, the office Christmas party, Westlake football games, and so on… Fortunately, Austin is blessed with a healthy number of happenings that trip the release valve on the pressure cooker of daily monotony. In fact, Austinites revel in freakiness more than most, thereby earning descriptions like “laid back” and “open minded,” and “liberal.” So, when an event comes along with a name like, “Gynomite-Goes-West-Benefit Eroticathon 2002!” our interest is bound to be piqued. If nothing else, any group bold enough to fuse (pun intended) the Greek root with the invention of either J.J. Walker or Alfred Nobel demands a closer look. Eroticathon 2002 is a pornucopia of poetry, spoken word, performance art and film of a decidedly feminist and yes, pornographic bent. Readings will be given by local writers and poets like David Jewell, Liz Belile, Genevieve Van Cleve, Samantha Peterson, Mike Henry and Spike Gillespie. If the porn doesn’t flip your freak switch, KOOP DJs “the Jennifers,” will be on hand with dance tunes and Kate “Triple X” Messer will be hosting “Sexy Karaoke.” Talk about blowin’ it up….

Bruce Robison

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FEB. 14, 2002

Back in the days before St. Valentine you might have had the luxury of a fun, freaky partner-swapping penis totem fertility festival bent on mixing up the mating pool, but then Valentine and his ilk came along and saddled us with the whole chaste, romantic love thing – labial color scheme notwithstanding. Bummer. OK, so modern times demand a bit more subtlety. Relax. You can swing it. Just find the person you’ve been obsessing about for the last year, hour, or minute and tell him/her/both (hey, this is the Chronicle remember) that you are prepared to take him/her/both to the Bruce Robison show this Saturday. Bruce is all about subtlety. His latest CD, recorded in velve-tone, is about as smooth as you can get. Give it a shot. Nobody’s going to turn you down for being a Bruce Robison fan – nobody worth dating that is…

Paregentan

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SAT. FEB. 9 2002

So maybe you’re not an Armenian, but that doesn’t mean you can’t party like one. This Saturday night over at the Red Lion Hotel on the corner of I-35, Armenians from Austin and elsewhere will be celebrating Paregentan, the Armenian Mardi Gras. Why Paregentan? Because Armenians don’t speak French. OK, there’s more to it than that, so get out your notebook. Armenia is a landlocked little country (about the size of Maryland) sandwiched between Turkey and Azerbaijan – or Georgia and Iran, depending on where you’re standing. Historically, Armenia has been overrun by all of your big conquerors: the Persians, Alexander the Great, the Romans, the Byzantines, the Arabs, the Mongols, Tatars, Ottomans and the Russian Empire. What does this mean to you? It means that while Armenia may be relatively poor country economically speaking, Armenians and the Armenian Diaspora are culturally rich. You can share in some of that wealth this Saturday starting at 8pm. Not only will you get to feast on mezze (a much easier way to say and spell “hors d’oeuvres”) like Hummus, Tabouli, and falafel, you’ll be able to dance to Armenian, Greek, Persian and Arabic dance music spun by Los Angeles Armenian D.J. team Neptune Productions. Did I say belly dancing? Did I need to? Later, at midnight, they bust out the Armenian sweets and coffee so you can sober up after a hard night of drinking and dancing. If you’re a diehard, don’t worry. The party goes on until 2. Dress is casual, but it wouldn’t kill you to throw on a tie, would it?

Janeane Garafalo

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FEB. 1, 2002

The Paramount Theatre is one of those ancient, ornate, neo-classical structures we like to keep around for occasions of pomp and circumstance. While others of its kind have suffered the mild indignity of being renovated into proletarian structures like discos, pool halls, and record stores, the Paramount has been restored to a decent semblance of its original design. The result is a certain weathered elegance. Like a grandmother’s plastic-covered sitting room, the Paramount is swank digs to the mud covered kid of Austin’s collective cultural consciousness. So every once in a while when someone important is in town we pull off the slip covers and pretend it’s the living room, but of course, we’re not fooling anyone – certainly not acerbic, quick witted comediennes like Janeane Garafalo, who pays a visit to the Paramount this Saturday night. It would be an understatement to say that Janeane is one of the paragons of nineties slacker cynicism. Since her earliest days on Ben Stiller and Larry Sanders shows, Garafalo has made a name for herself by railing against the hypocrisy, inanity, and unforgivable mediocrity of mainstream middle class society – ironically the same stratum that provides the bulk of her fan base. Fortunately, Austin is chock-full of cynical middle class intellectuals, which should make for a large, enthusiastic crowd smart enough to know that the joke is partially on them. Maybe you should take a dip in this Olympic-sized dating pool.

Jane Bond, The Converters, Scott Biram

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JAN. 25, 2002

Just south of Avenue F on North Loop Boulevard exists a small pocket of businesses that has experienced something of a renaissance in the last decade. Much like the sparsely gravestoned pauper’s cemetery to the northwest, the dilapidated rows of one-story buildings on either side of the street used to be mostly vacant, with a few stalwart exceptions like Action Safe & Lock, Ararat, Room Service, Hogwild and Musical Exchange. However, since the glory days of Clintonian economic expansion, the little block is abuzz with new, edgy retailers like Forbidden Fruit, Donkey, and The Parlor, a pizza joint with a dark, Martian interior where the jukebox boasts a psychotically diverse selection of tunes, many scrawled in unceremonious ballpoint – a sort of punk refutation of the digital age. Most days of the week it’s all about pizza (regulars rave about it), pool (one table, no waiting), and hanging out beneath the large paintings of legendary Austin musicians like Willie Nelson and Roky Erikson, but Monday nights at 7:30 The Parlor belongs to Jane Bond, a captivating young singer/songwriter from up north who routinely packs the place with her devoted following before turning things over to two powerful roots/blues acts: The Converters and Scott Biram. This may well be the African Violet they call the “Austin Music Scene.” It’s up to you to nurture it. No cover, just toppings.

Dark Goddess

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JAN. 11 2002

With all the goddamned cedar pollen swirling about, it’s a wonder anyone can keep it together enough to stay even ankle deep in the dating pool. Torn by the maddening choice of a self-induced Benadryl coma or staying drug free in order to maintain the lightning-quick reflexes it takes to nonchalantly dab the quicksilver rivulet of snot perilously poised in your left nostril before dreamboat sees it and recoils in horror, it’s easy to see why most people choose to stay home and vegetate Not to mention that your red, itchy eyes give you the look of being constantly bereaved. The weather’s nice though, isn’t it? Those fortunate enough to have escaped the curse of the cedar owe it to the rest of us to enjoy life to the fullest. Start by attending Dark Goddess 2002 at the Vortex. Dark Goddess is a freaky mixture of original music, dance and spoken word performed in a ritual setting. This year’s show includes returning Goddesses Hekate (Greek goddess of witches and the like), Pele (Hawaiian Goddess of Fire), Lilith (the pissed off mythological first wife of Adam), and Kali (head-choppin’ Dark Goddess of India), as well as newcomers Rhiannon, Medusa, Sehkmet, Ala, Sedna, Mare, The Morrigu, Spider Woman, and Mummu Tiamat. Sounds heavy, but take heart; the Vortex web site says, “This is not the light and fluffy Goddess of years past, but as in years past, Dark Goddess 2002 contains female nudity.”

Chronicle Driver Band Night

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FRI. JAN. 11 2002

Like the Kang himself, Elvis’ birthday has come and gone. Here in Austin, folks are still celebrating the event. Similarly, the Chronicle’s birthday has come and gone and we’re still celebrating it too. Elvis may have left the building permanently, but the Chronicle is still entrenched in the bluegreen bunker on the corner of 40th and I-35 – a de facto monument to the 20 years of the Chronicle’s existence. Since early September the Chronicle has been sponsoring different events spotlighting its involvement in the community. Friday Beerland (owned by former Chronicle drivers Randall and Donya Stockton) will host a night of performances by bands featuring Chronicle distribution drivers – truly some of the hardest working guys in show business, at least for one day a week. Kicking the show off will be Covert Operation with Chronicle drivers Erik Conn and Michael Wane followed by the veteran Austin pop act Quatropaw which includes driver Jason Richard. Closing the show will be Arista recording artists Color featuring Chronicle driver Chris Robbins. That’s three great bands for three bucks. Not to mention the proceeds benefit the SIMS Foundation. Most importantly, you’ll get a chance to meet the people responsible for bringing you this fine publication. See you there.