SAT., DEC. 13, 2003
If you haven’t had one already, your office holiday party is probably just around the corner. Try to reign in your excitement. Whether you’re down with the holidays or not, this annual outpouring of corporate cheer is worth every penny. If you’re lucky, you’ll have the big kind with lots of heavy food, hard liquor, and sentimental holiday schmaltz – the kind of party where your boss molts his scaly skin, dons a furry Santa hat, and does a reasonably competent interpretive dance routine to “Baby Got Back.” Go early and nail down a prime position next to the bar. Eventually someone will come along who’ll impress you with their lack of inhibition and decorum. Never mind that they’re teetering on the precipice of unemployment, a messy divorce, or outright insanity. That’s probably only the booze talking anyway. Just make sure you stay comfortably within their aurora of impropriety – at least long enough to work in a little of your own. For instance, even though you just finished a full eight-hour workday without even saying boo to the office hottie, make sure to give him or her a big, boozy, holiday hug at the party. You may not get another chance. You might even get hugged back. In the worst-case scenario, your brazenly emotional outpouring will most likely be ascribed to innocent holiday cheer rather than diabolical lechery. If by some unhappy coincidence or evil design you are bereft of a holiday party this season, you can work it over at Moxie & the Compound’s Holiday Hullabaloo this Saturday. From roughly noon to 10pm, you can eat pizza, drink vodka, shop for unique Austin-gifts and whatnot and listen to a dizzying variety of bands including but not limited to: Sarah Hickman, the Jellydots, Laura Freeman, Matt the Electrician, Floyd Domino & the Moxietones, Water, and Southpaw Jones. There is also a silent auction benefiting AIDS Services of Austin if you’re looking to blow your money on an even better cause. If shopping’s not your bag, baby, you can still get a massage, have your astrology read, or sit on Santa’s lap and have your picture taken – maybe even all at the same time. Go for it. Learning to gift yourself is the greatest gift of all.