MON., NOV. 6, 2006
You can go ahead and peel off that “I voted” sticker now. Show’s over. No use sitting by your mailbox waiting for Governor-Elect Friedman’s coke binge/casino gambling/varmint rescuing inaugural ball invite. It would have been fun, but unfortunately, your boxcar was hitched to the little engine that couldn’t: the one with just enough steam to blow the whistle but not enough to get over the hill. Think of it this way: You made a statement. You showed the world you’re willing to stand on principle, even when the principle you’re standing on is sinking like the Titanic, parting the sea, making way for the Two-Headed (and at least one of them is side-parted) Beast of the Apocalypse, Governor Goodhair. Now is not the time to start second-guessing yourself. Just because effectively your vote might as well have been cast for Perry doesn’t mean you weren’t being heard. Think about the sweeping reform brought about by the Nader/Bush voters in 2004 – the primary one being that Bush had to start wearing Depends because he was peeing on himself with glee at the thought of Nader staying in the race. Come to think of it, Perry seems to favor roomy, pleated khakis too, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s experiencing happiness-based incontinence himself, it may just mean he has frequent boners. Wouldn’t you if you knew some stogie sucking cowboy crackpot was splitting the opposition vote? As rich as he is on back-room payoffs, Perry can’t afford high-grade Viagra like that. Besides, even if he had the money, no one really believes that Perry would secretly pay Friedman to play the foil, do they? How Machiavellian would that be? He would have had to understudy with Bush for years to pull a stunt like that. Yeah, it’s best not to let your imagination run wild. Politics is for people with vision but not peyote vision. That kind of vision is best left to artistic types – people like David Jewell and Wayne Alan Brenner, the writers, directors, and primary performers in the new Hyde Park Theatre comedy show, Double Exposure. They may not be running for governor, but they have their own two-headed beast thing going on. It involves sketch comedy, monologues, and singing and dancing – sort of like a gubernatorial campaign, but without the sick sweat of desperation. It’s also for adults only, so you may want to leave the “future of Texas” at home with a sitter.